Lap Incident
by Masked Revolt
Summary: In what situation would Belle eat lunch while sitting on Rumplestiltskins lap?


**This story is dedicated to Owlwynn for asking about the "lap incident" Referenced in my "No Tables" story. I honestly don't know what I think of this mess of a story. Why don't you wonderfupeople let me know what you think? Please enjoy!**

The dress was stunning. Golden chiffon silk draped across supple breasts and tickled mile long legs. Rumplestiltskin admired his recent purchase as it was modeled on "his" Belle, he was quite pleased with himself. She gave a half twirl and a less than half smile.

"Rum, it's," she scowled, "a bit on the reveling side, don't you think?"

"Hhhmmmm?" Gold had to mentally slap himself into the conversation. "Oh. No dearie. Not in this world."  
He flashed a toothy grin before snatching his cane in one hand and his maiden in the other. "Let's go show you off."

"Show me off?"

The tone of her voice stopped Gold in his tracks, that and her stopping physically while still attached to him. He turned to eye her redding face, her angry eyes, her pouting lips, her very red plump perfect lips, her...

"Rum!"

Another mental slap.

"Just a little bite of lunch at the dinner, dearie." Insert charming smile. "You are hungry. Are you not?" Insert soothing arm rub. "And I simply thought that while we feed our stomachs all those other people may feast on your beauty." And end with a hand flourish.

Belle stood with her back straight and her mouth open, she slowly breathed in and let out, "I am not some trinket you have placed on a display cabinet for all to be envious of!" She ripped her arm from his grasp, "And furthermore maybe I don't want people feasting on my beauty!" Incredulously she added, "And really? 'Feast on my beauty'?"

Rumplestiltskin was having trouble registering all of this. Belle had just been back in his life for a little while now and with her new timid nature he had nearly forgotten his old wild rose Belle. He had missed it. Greatly.

And another mental slap, today was getting painful.

"I," thoughtful downcast look, "am truly apologetic." He grasped her hand in his. "You are just too wonderful for me, I doubt that this is real every day, and when I realize it is I wish to boast about my great fortune to others so that we all may revile in my happiness."

"Rum... Your left eye twitches slightly when your lying through your teeth." Yet despite the harsh comeback she did have a hint of a smile under her grimace.

Rumplestiltskin pulled back in mock horror and flung his hand to his lips to hide a gasp.

"Lie?" He immediately grabbed her hand once more and stared her down eye to eye, "I'm truly heartbroken by your words. Ask for my forgiveness and I might favor you with a lunch at Granny's."

Belle's eyes rolled in unison with her gently pushing Gold from her space,"How about we have a picnic and no more apologies from anyone?"

Gold contemplated this for a moment than nodded his head in agreement.  
...

Thirty minutes later and the couple found themselves sitting down to a lovely picnic. Rumplestiltskin chose a corner of the blanket and sat down, gracefully even with the leg. Belle wanted to lean against the tree shading them that warm afternoon. Gold produced a sandwich from their basket and Belle was reaching for the napkins when she bolted from her seat.

"Something is on me!" She stood over the startled man with her fists clutched.

"Pardon me?" Rumplestiltskin moved to get his cane but was stopped by Belle plopping down on his lap.

"It's in my hair." She remained deadly calm and still. Gold was frozen for other reasons, I.e. her hair, smell, body heat...

"Get it out!"

Mental slap not required due to shrill voice.

Gold nimbly started combing through her locks, and enjoying it thoroughly.

"I'm not seeing anything, dearie..." He trailed off as a flash of red caught his  
eye, he dove for it, " Oh, my..."

"What?" Belle started to move but Gold placed a firm hand upon her shoulder.

"You, my Belle, have a most deadly lady bug nesting in your tresses." Giggling he lifted his arms over her head and leveled his locked hands to her her eyes. "Don't be too frightened, I can suck out the poison if worse comes to worse!" He opens his hands to reveal the pokadotted fiend.

"I'm...um..."

Gold whispered in her ear, "Speechless?"

Belle shuddered and turned to hide a blush.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dearie me! It did bite you! Losing your voice is the first sign!" He grabbed her head and tilted up and down observing all.

"Not good at all." He said gravely.

"What..." Belle suppressed a laugh, "do you recommend?"

"The less movement for now the better, the poison won't spread to the rest of the body that way." He pulled her up closer on his lap. "I should probably feed you lunch." Whispering again, "Its for the best," audibly licked his lips, "dearie."


End file.
